Nine Dimensions

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I Made the Dumbest Wish...
I found an old magic lamp, gave it a rub and was stoked when it farted out a genie.
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Breaking: universe is another mummy, and she loves us very much
Get ready to do it all over again!
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Memoir of a Mermarriage
I married a mermaid once.
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Intrinsic Motivation
You fumble with your tie in front of the rear view mirror. Dammit, who's going to hire you if you don't know how to do up a tie? Fuck it. You just do a…
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Football History: The Love Loophole
A little known rule in soccer is the so called “love loophole”. While nominally a no-contact sport, if your intention is genuinely to cuddle your…
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Extrinsic Motivation
You wake up in a sealed room. There's a bed, a nutrient goo machine and a locked door with a mail slot in it. The walls are covered top to bottom in…
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Old Friends
"Who could that be at the door?" asked the man. "Why it's my friends, thousands of insects! Come in, come in!" "SCREEEEE!!!" came the cries of the…
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Environmentally Friendly
"What I love about this place", I say enthusiastically, "is that it's so environmentally friendly!" "Ah, maybe less than you think..." came the guide's…
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Nine Dimensions
Vignettes and short stories
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